Eat My Leftovers, Eat My Shit: A Choose Your Own Adventure Meal

Me: I’m so happy to be home! Time for my awesome pizza leftovers!

Heath: Um…I ate them…

Me: No you didn’t! *opens fridge*

Me: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY LEFTOVERS?!!!

Heath: I just told you, I ate them.

So, now what? This goes on all the time and nothing is ever resolved. I finally, in a fit of rage and anger, came up with a solution…I says to him, I says:

“The next time I put leftovers in the fridge, I am going to put a little piece of my poo in them. Then you will learn.”

This seems to work. Maybe only if you are bat-shit insane enough to actually do it. (Which I am [and Heath seems to know this]).

Try it on your boyfriend/girlfriend/roommate or whoever it is that eats your leftovers. Just a helpful hint at taste bud joy from your friend, Emily Illinois. XOXO!