Oh what? I have a bike?!

My boyfriend just bought me a bike. And if you knew me, you would know that I have avoided biking in Chicago because I don't want to get hit by a car and die. So, this is a big deal. Also, the bike he got for me is ridiculous, not because it's a bad bike or anything, but because it's so girlie.

So, it's this hot little number. Pink and grey. 10 speed. Huffy. I like it.

I think it's hilarious that a foul-mouthed asshole like myself is riding around on a little sweetheart bike. Every girl should have one feminine thing at least.

So, guess where I took my first bike ride to? Dunkin Donuts--for coffee and a BACON breakfast sandwich! When I said this was going to be a good summer, I didn't know it was going to be this good!

Cars better look out, cuz I'm not fucking around out there. You can tell them I said that.

A normal time at the local 7-Eleven

I just walked to my 7-Eleven to buy some smokes and what did I do, you ask? Well, I managed to knock over a stack of pamphlets onto the floor and dump the take-a-penny tray--all while pressing the wrong buttons on the credit card machine. After I got outside and lit up a smoke, I dropped it into my unopened umbrella. The cigarette then fell onto the wet sidewalk. Don't worry, I still smoked it. I'm hardcore like that.