I *know* he thinks it's hot...
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I don't know why it always makes me laugh. Probably because there are so many levels to it with which I disagree. And it was told to me in sincerity...
Why did god give women yeast infections?
So they could know what it's like to live with an irritated cunt too.
Friday, May 28, 2010
1. Throw all the kids carts in the baler (CRUSHER!!!)
2. Use wine to mop up spills!
3. Eat all the samples and drink ALL the juice!
4. Reverse face all sections (labels in bitches!)
5. Ask customers if THEY can help ME!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
The FUCK Chicago?! Every time I walk down my street, some douche-lord is riding their bike on the goddamn sidewalk. It was mildly irritating the first few times, but now, it just pisses me the FUCK OFF. I can't even count how many times some asshat has almost ran me down from behind. Fine, if you're under 17 and ride on the sidewalk, but grown fucking men can navigate on the fucking street. I'd be safer on the road, walking next to traffic and goddamn parked cars. I'm walking and therefore the goddamn most important person. I don't care if that makes me PEDESTRIAN. I want to carry a stick and samurai-sword that shit in these goddamn motherfuckers goddamn spokes. Bitch.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Customer: Where are those...umm...dried cranberries?
Me: Oh...here they are...*points at shelf*
Customer: WAIT! DRIED POMEGRANATE SEEDS! THAT'S WHAT I NEED! SUPER-FOOD RIGHT? KEEPS AN OLD FUCKER LIKE ME ALIVE!
Friday, May 7, 2010
My friend Pit Pat was closing the loading door at work one day when, as it was sliding down, it knocked some boxes over. And after he closed it a girl walked into the back room.
Girl: What was that noise?!
Pit Pat: Do you believe in ghosts?
Pit Pat: It was a ghost.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Yeah. I started watching "Lost". I stopped being a snob and jumped right in. My days off consist of watching this blasted T.V. show. I need to find out what happens. Also, whoever writes this shit is probably the biggest douche-canoe because you just know that anyone that good at avoiding answering questions either worked for George W. Bush's administration, or should have.