Tuesday, April 6, 2010

In Which I Remember That I am a HERO!!!

I was sitting around today thinking about how I wish I could be a hero. Then I remembered that I AM! Or was, depending on how you look at it.

Once one of my friends wandered off drunk around some train tracks...and about ten minutes later I heard a train coming, and remembered that he had disappeared. I searched for him and found him passed out drunk on the tracks. I couldn't wake him up. So you know what I did? I fucking picked that motherfucker up and carried him to safety. Guess what? No one remembers. But I do because I was mostly sober, and definitely more sober than anyone else there. So, YOU'RE WELCOME RANDY. And thank YOU for making me a life-long hero.

Also I once saved a nest of baby birds from being fed milk by an old crazy polish roof fixer. And not once, but fucking TWICE, I stopped traffic and carried turtles to safety. YOU'RE WELCOME BIRDS AND TURTLES.

But, saving people is cooler than saving animals. Unless the animal saved a person once, cuz then you kinda owe them.

1 comment:

  1. Your blogs always make me laugh. You should write them more often.