Me, drunk, eating a plate of pasta salad. I place it precariously upon the table, promising myself that I will be careful to not spill it--
FLLUUUGGG!!! I JUST SPILLED A WHOLE PLATE OF PASTA SALAD ON MY LAP!
Me (speaking sadly, as if I've given up on life): "Great now I've got pasta salad on my vagina."
Best part? I only spilled it ON TOP of my long shorts, but my Dad was still like "I'm out of here!"
I'm bringing vagina's back baybee.