Monday, July 19, 2010

A recipe for disaster: a lesson for the boys

PREFACE: I'M NOT MAD/CRAZY/INSANE

The other day I left work early because I thought I was going to barf. Then I got home and had major diarrhea (whatevs, I can admit it). Then I took a shower and then took a nap.

Now, follow me on this one, my boyfriend's sister was visiting and he wanted to borrow a bike for her to use. One of his friends came through. She happened to be a former stripper. She was going to drop the bike off at our apartment. I had never met her...

Sooooooooooooooo. I woke up from my nap. To girls giggling in my living room. Then I was all like, oh yeah, that girl is dropping off that bike. Then I was like, oh yeah, she is probably super hot because of her old job and stuff. Meanwhile, I looked like total crap because I went to sleep with wet hair and diarrhea and was wearing stupid sleeping clothes consisting of shorts un-hemmed on one side, and some lame shirt. So, I'm laying there for five minutes trying to figure out a way to come out of the bedroom and not seem like an ass. And all I can think is: I'm not going to even be looking close to my 'personal best' in front of a hot ex-stripper, and I had DIARRHEA today, I suck.

Yeah, so I was just like, 'fuck it', came out of the room, was all like 'hi', and they were like, 'Sorry you're sick' and I was all like 'you have NO IDEA'. Just kidding, I was like, 'thanks, I feel better.' And they WERE SUPER HOT. And POTENTIALLY BI-SEXUAL. That seems like a super-threat for some reason...Then they left. So, I think I failed in trying to not seem like a snizz. But I wasn't mad or being a B. I was just feeling weird and mud-butty. In fact, I would like to pick her brain someday.

But anyway boys, it is probably not a good idea to have your super-hot ex-stripper friend and her (potential girl-) friend, who is also super hot, giggling at everything you say, as your sick girlfriend sleeps in the other room...Especially if she is insecure (which I am). But, I found the whole situation more hilarious than anything else. Still though, really, probably not a good idea. Unless your girlfriend loves to write stupid shit on a blog no one reads, then it is probably a good idea. Kind of.


4 comments:

  1. At least you're not an ex-stripper.

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  2. it's not that! it's just that i felt like Queen Blob of Grossville.

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  3. hey, one's profession doesn't dictate what kind of person you are. i'm sure there's some super dickish doctors who save lives on the daily. and there's probably a really nice tow truck driver out there somewhere.

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  4. a stigma comes with being a stripper. just as one comes with being a hot guys girlfriend.

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