A friend of mine invited me to go see a double feature and the movies seemed swank, so I was like, 'Hell yeah! I'll bring the wine!' My friend brought the food, and we proceeded to drink one bottle during the first movie...We sneaked, we laughed, we drank, it was good.
The second movie started and I was all excited, because it was the main movie that I wanted to see. The opening credits rolled, I pulled the second bottle of wine out of my bag, fun size twix in my mouth, things couldn't be better...Until, the full, unopened bottle of red wine slowly slipped from my fingers and completely shattered on the floor of the movie theater...
I lean over to my friend, "We have to fucking go. Now. Now. We have to go. Let's go. We need to get the fuck out of here." My friend asks, "...was that the empty bottle...?" Me, "No. Can't you smell it? Shit. Let's. Go."
As the 30 other people in the theater begin to ascertain which idiot broke glass during the movie, we make a plan to bolt in ten minutes. During that time frame, I pull a $5 bill out of my bag and write "sorry" on it about 10 times, then place it on top of the broken wine bottle. It's called 'doing the wrong thing the right way'. I only wish I could have dropped a $20...
I go to the bathroom. A few minutes later my friend meets me in the lobby. Drunk, I use my best straight face as I loudly fake a phone call in the silent lobby, "WHAT?! When? Is it serious? The HOSPITAL? No, I'm at the theater, I'm leaving right now. Which hospital? I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Bye." We walk out with serious, studious expressions on our faces...
They'll never suspect me...
It's called 'saving face'. Also, these kinds of things are just becoming a normal weeknight for me...
Lesson, not learned.
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