Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Remember how awesome I was?

Yesterday at work I was kicking ass. I dominated my sections and defeated all obstacles. I helped a million people and even had time to drink half a cup of coffee. I was winning! Until my last hour. Suddenly my vision went like this:

Like there was this weird crescent taking up my field of vision in one eye. It was like I had stared into a bright light (but I hadn't). And as the minutes ticked by, it got bigger and bigger. Until I had a huge blind spot. I got distracted by what was going on in my eye. I couldn't help anyone. I couldn't work. I couldn't even explain myself to my coworkers. BUT I ONLY HAD ONE HOUR LEFT.

Anyway. I knew instantly that I was getting a migraine. And for me, when my vision goes like that, initially there is no pain. But eventually there will be. And that is a fact. So, as I'm trying to finish my last hour of work I am panicky. I am trying to tell myself that it's just because I KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO BE IN SERIOUS PAIN SHORTLY. But that isn't the case, and it's not that I was panicky. It's that I turned fucking retarded. My I.Q. dropped 50 points. I'm not kidding. I started to think that I was stroking out. For example; somebody said, "Omega 3" and I had no idea what they were talking about. I was like, "???What the hell is that? I feel like I know that word, but I'm not sure if it's made up or not? Is that a serious word? I can't spell it. ICAN'TSPELLIT!!!" (this was all going on in my head).

GOD. Last night was dumb.

To make a short story short, because I know that you don't have all day, I did make it home. Somehow. I probably looked insane on the train with a crunched up face and a wonky eye, but at least everyone left me alone. I got to my apartment, walked in my door, took two Excedrin Migranes, picked up my dog and went to bed. And that's the story of how awesome I was.


  1. okay. fine. OUR dog. i hate sharing though...

  2. Dude. That frickin SUCKS. Migraines are the worst. Maybe except for cancer and lupus.

    Hug your dog and blow raspberries on his/her tummy for me - dogs are the BEST, except for NOTHING!

    Sarah xxx

    PS Awesome art.

    PPS Do your dog's feet smell like popcorn?

  3. I've found that if you walk around with a squished up face and a wonky eye people usually leave you alone. It works great when you don't really feel like working. Just try and act a little "simple" and people don't bother asking you stuff. I'm serious. I used it all the time when I worked at a health food store...

    Don't judge me..