Monday, December 27, 2010

For the new year

So. Every new year everyone is like, 'imma quit smoking. imma quit drinking. imma gonna go on a diet.'

This year, just make it easy on yourself. Just start flossing once in a while. Like, just once a week. It will take you about 30 seconds. A small life change that will benefit you and save you about $1,000 (give or take [in dental bills]) in your life-time.

You'll actually be able to keep this resolution up too. It's barely even a commitment. Buy Glide Tape cuz that's the best dental floss on the market. I'm just trying to help, so don't hate. Your breath might be like 10% better too. So tell your significant other to thank me.


  1. i have a couple of thoughts about this blog entry.

    1. i read the phrase "imma gonna go on a diet" in Mario's voice. As in Super Mario.
    2. This Message Brought To You By Glide Tape.
    3. you could just tell me to floss. you didn't have to tell the whole GOD DAMNED INTERNET that i have bad breath.

  2. everyone knows that my breath is worse than yours. le fin.

  3. Is "Glide Tape" the same as "Crest Glide Deep Clean"? If it is, good, because Crest Glide Deep Clean is the shit. It also sounds sexier, if you're trying to sell flossing. I even have something called a "Floss Mate" that helps me reach all those --hard-to-reach-- places. Oh yeah. And I use it EVERY night.

  4. Well, Megg, then your new years resolution should be to brush your teeth for 15 seconds longer than usual...And I once worked with a dude who said his porn name was "max glide". I believed this for a week, but it wasn't true, he wasn't in pornos. With a 'floss mate' it sounds like you probably have some 'max glide' going on up in there...

  5. My resolution is to go to the dentist for the first time in ten years. But you didn't answer my question: is Glide Tape the same thing?

  6. if it says 'glide' i think we're good. the 'tape' is a little thicker...