Monday, January 24, 2011

REPOST: Open Letter: To Hibernation

Dear Hibernation,

I am busy sitting here trying to understand you. I am doing this because I feel a deep need to hibernate right now, but I am not even sure what that means exactly. I learned about hibernation in grade school, but it was not as fascinating then as it seems to be now.

I am pretty sure that cold blooded creatures like me cannot hibernate. I perch on my heated rock under a sun-lamp on cold days like these. As I sit there, I dream of hibernation. To be a raccoon or some kind of bear and hibernate all through the winter, only to wake up a couple of times to eat some fish or garbage or whatever it is that animals eat, that would be the life. And that is all that I remember learning about you.

I think it would be cool to tell people that I was hibernating. At work they would say, "How was your day off?" and I would reply, "Oh, you know, I just hibernated, like usual." I think that would really impress people at work. At least more than saying, "Oh, you know, I was just thinking about hibernation." If I had to say that, they would think I was a total loser. (And I am not).

Anyway, I just hate winter and being cold. I am wishing for you, hibernation, but I am not some kind of weird, it’s just never gonna happen. It’s one of those things I talk about, but will never be able to do. Oh well.

Hibernating is so sciencey,

Emily Illinois


  1. Hibernation is cool. I think I would be pretty good at it too. But since I have to get up most days at 5am to go to the toilet, would that happen when I was hibernating? Do you get a wake-up-and-have-a-wee-break as well as a get-up-and-eat-some-garbage-break?

    You're right, it is sciencey. And science is hard. For example, did you know that trees are REAL and not made up by Dr Seuss??? Seriously, google it, I kid you not. Thanks for the hibernaiton post, now I will obsess over it too. Yay!

    Sarah xxx

  2. It's not sciencey. It's sleep. Prolonged, joyous sleep...the kind where you wake up and want to strangle somebody...just because.

    I'm just guessing, here, given that I'll never experience hibernation, thanks to two anal dogs who wake up before the sun...