Friday, October 29, 2010

A Note for the Ladies

Hey girls. Let's all just promise each other to stop saying that a vagina is like a 'self-cleaning oven'. Because it's not. It's like a vagina. It's been in use for hundreds of thousands of years. Doing what it does. Taking care of itself. Oven's haven't even been around for that long.

Maybe ovens are like a vagina? Just putting that out there...

But seriously, vagina's are like vagina's and they do what they do. Whether or not it is 'self cleaning' is really up to the owner, but comparing a vagina to an oven really sets women back (into the kitchen, bitches) in some small way. And annoys the shit out of me.

Let's say that a vagina is like a ninja, or a renegade, or a one-man-band, or a FUCKING VAGINA. A vagina stands alone motherfuckers.


  1. Vaginas are DEFINITELY NOT "self cleaning"... And this is not a biased statement... Just saying.

    I suppose that in a certain, specific way, they are somewhat "self cleaning" due the the monthly cycle of nature, however, assiumming that it will scrub itself and smell like Lilacs without any outside effort is somewhat disturbing....

    Long live the VAG.

  2. People say that??? Gross! I have never, ever heard that. I think perhaps you made it up just so you could tell people not to say it while actually just implanting it into everyone's heads. Just gross. It is indeed a horrible comparison, and if anything it's untrue because I can turn my oven on and off when I please, I have to set it to self-clean itself (which, thanks for the reminder, I really have to do), and otherwise have control over it. Also, the other day I was putting something into the oven and I burned my hand pretty badly. So far this has never happened with my vagina.

    Also, I ENJOY BEING IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE I ENJOY COOKING. So stop insulting my oven, okay?