Monday, August 17, 2009

Open Letter: To Music

Hey Music!

What’s new with you? I am asking because I really do not keep up with you in any way. When it comes to you, well, I feel kind of left out.

You know, I used to keep up with you a little more around the Millennium. I had a lot of time on my hands back then. We were a little closer, wouldn't you agree? Anyway, I am not trying to make you feel bad. No, not at all. Actually all of the problems that we have are actually MY problems. I just can't understand you. It's that simple. Back in the day I would spend hours memorizing liner notes, looking up lyrics on the internet or asking my friends to clarify what was being said. I now realize the problem is that audio is like a learning disability for me. Who knew?

For example, in that song Glamorous by Fergie, I thought she was saying 'flopsie, flopsie' and that does not make any sense, I was really confused until some co-workers clarified that she was actually saying 'flossie, flossie'. See? This is just one example. You can tell when I am trying to understand your words because I will squint my eyes really hard. You will usually find me doing this in my car because I figure that no one can see me in there anyway. It is funny that I squint my eyes because it would make more sense if I squinted my ears, right? Really, that’s impossible though.

I guess that the only time that I feel really good about you is when I take drugs like Marijuana. But since I have not done that stuff in years, we have grown even farther apart. Maybe I should make Marijuana a priority again? What do you say? I do not know if that is the answer for us, but I am sure that it is an answer for something. I will think on that.

I like to blame others for me not being so into you anymore. I do that because I think that it makes me seem cooler. But it probably does not. We did have some fun though, didn't we? Maybe we should bring it back. I've got about 150 old CDs stashed--I could find some Marijuana somewhere, get a bottle of wine? What do you say? Let me know, okay?

Squinting forward to hear our past,

Emily Illinois

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