Dear My Smoke Alarm,
Thanks for going off at 11.30 at night a few minutes ago. One millimeter of the edge of my delicious pizza was burned. You were unnecessary because the pizza was out of the oven already. If my landlord has anything to say to me about this, you are going to have Hell to pay. At least I know you still work, I had my doubts.
You are a dick,
Emily Illinois
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