Dear Woman on the El,
I was sitting down on the train. You were talking to your friend. You both had just gone to Dunkin' Donuts and you had a coffee in one hand and a half eaten bagel in the other. Do you even remember me?
I remember you. Mainly because you were letting your bagel crumbs fall on my head and bounce off my glasses. Who the hell holds on to the pole on the train with food in their same hand? That's just fucking sick. Especially after last week when I saw a guy sneeze into his hand then grab the pole. But, back to you.
As that crumb bounced off my glasses, I knew that I could actually murder someone in cold blood.
Hope to see you soon!